なにしよっかなあ THIS BORES ME !!

        I don't like the people here.         I don't like the culture here.         I don't like the tradition here.         I don't like the custom here.         I don't like the history here.         I don't like the system here.         I don't like the places here.         I don't like the air here.         I don't like the weather here.         I don't like everything here.                     But I think that I like this world better than before because of you.                                 ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎                     Today I'm moving to another place in this world. For the firs...

                    There's nothing that we can change about other people. Everyone is different from each other. We don't know how or what they think or feel. Sometimes we don't understand even ourselves. We have no choice but to accept the way it is, who he or she is. We maybe can try to change their way of thinking if we want to. At least we can influence each other. For example, you think that someone is too negative and you want the person to be more positive for himself. And you try to persuade him to be so. But he may say he doesn't want to. Still I think you can affect him more or less. But it's better for us not to think we can change other people. The older I get, the more I feel that way.                     Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I think it's arrogant to try to change other people or even to want other people to change themselves. Instead of it, I'd rather try to exp...

                    I like travelling in Japan or overseas.  I'd rather take a train (including bullet train) or a aeroplane than drive a car. When I'm driving a car on an expressway, I'm too afraid of being crushed to enjoy a drive. I think there're lots of dangers in driving a car. For example, cars can be easily touched by each other on a road. And drivers are generally ordinary people. As for a train or an aeroplane, there's no other train or aeroplane around, so it can't be crushed by another. Only a low probablity of accidents makes me feel secure. I love when I'm going up toward the sky. I feel as if I am free from everything. And the only thing I can do is to trust my life to a pilot. I think it's definitely pure.           ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎                     I've been trying not to think that it's a special thing. But today suddenly I noticed...

                    I finished the last day at my work  last Friday. This is the third of my leaving job. And this time I'm also moving to the east.                                                               ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎                     I've been thinking about... what he is to me. I thought I would figure it out after a while but still not. I generally feel as if he was my elder male cousin ( I don't know why or he's not even similar to a real one though ). Sometimes he's like an elder lady who is an acquaintance and at other times he's just a man which is his actual figure, I think. Every time I see him, I feel kind of breathless. Although I want to tell him everything about me, I can't, almost all the time...

                    Apparently, I seem to like being in a complicated situation. I know that struggling urges my brain to work. And it definitely makes my heart beating, which means I can feel I'm still alive. Sometimes I get so tired of such thinking of mine. Because that also makes me unfit for the society where I was supposed to get along with my husband and have some children as my mom still thinks that is the best way for a woman to be happy.                     I never felt like that I lived my own life before. And I've been complaining and blaming the people around me. But I gradually come to realize nothing would happen or change if I keep doing that. I tried to figure out why I had been doing it and just noticed that was because I'd been feeling as if I hadn't decided anything by myself. That can't be true, though. I just wanted to pass the buck to someone. And I've made...