なにしよっかなあ THIS BORES ME !!

I get many feelings mixed with strong emotion when I listen to some of Momus' songs. I'd like to express them held in the middle of my gall bladder because I really need to let them out today. ❤︎The Cheque's In The Post [from the album " The Ultraconformist "]         When I was a junior-high student, I listened to this song for the first time. Though I neither read the lyrics nor understood them but it sounded heartrending to me at that time and it's been one of my favorites. Last year, after I found him on the internet and I knew he lived in Osaka, I timidly started following him...like listening to his music again and searching for his information on the internet etc...I found his youtube channel and saw some movies which seemed to have been made by himself. One of them was the music video of this song. He on it looked very sexy and I got surprised. I saw him holding a calculator ( first I thought it was a tape recorder or a musical instrument. ). And ...

I noticed it today. I'm just lonely, always lonely even if I'm with someone literally. I've been wanting to be a person whom someone wants to be with even if he doesn't need her. And also I want to find someone that I can feel the same about. But I really feel happy to be with someone who is not close in relationship yet. Something newish makes my heart beat and makes me feel refreshed just like music always does. This contradiction has been making things hard for me.                 ＊＊＊＊ Today I went out for lunch with one of my coworkers. He's much younger than me and I never saw him as a man. But I felt my heart beating because I felt so happy about walking and talking with him...He's leaving the lab soon because he graduates from the graduate school this March and maybe it also makes it special to me. And the moist breeze was great while we were walking among the trees.                 ＊＊＊＊ ...

As I said before, I don't like "ojisan" which means old men in Japanese. I mean the men who are older than me and have ugliness. ( I know I'm also getting old and maybe smell bad. ) I don't like Arākī which is a Japanese old photograher famous for eccentricity and pornography. It's obvious that he loves Japanese women and has a fat waist and a nasty face. But I seem to have had  some misconceptions after I finished reading one of his books about himself. At least he's kept doing what he wants to do in his moral principles. He's thought to be a genius or an eccentric person but he's just expressing normal things in his way and he kinda wants to hide his normality but also wants to show it. Probably that's because he's confident enough now. In that sense, he's just a nasty old man. If there's a difference between him and many other old Japanese men, it would be how many people he knows. I generally don't like ojisan, but I...

I want to read the original if I want to read a non-Japanese book. I don't want anyone else's interpretation. But unfortunately I'm neither an English speaker nor a French speaker. I can try to understand foreign books with dictionaries but I don't think I can read between the lines. I'm probably too nervous about whether I can understand it or not. I still enjoy the lyrics of non-Japanese songs. But as to literary works, it would be more difficult. I'm trying to read some of Momus' works. One of them seems to be a diary in his youth. I thought it would be easier but it's not. I think the reason is that it was written in a unconventional way, I mean, it's like a daily conversation inside himself. And I recently got to know that a diary could be a genre of literature. It's called "a journal". I thought that a journal was only meant to be scholarly. Return to young Momus' diary, it has the number "1979". It means he ...