なにしよっかなあ THIS BORES ME !!

               I'm interested in people's faces. I can't tell someone's character from his feature but I'm sure that face and character are connected. For instance, bisexual people have something in common on their faces. I don't know if it's just expression or feature. But also I don't know if they're really bisexual, so my perspective might be wrong. Having said that, David Bowie was sometimes told to be bisexual for a certain period. Of course I'm not sure if it's true. And I know a Japanese man who has similarity to David Bowie about the face. He likes women just like most of men do but the similarity sometimes makes me think about his sexuality. Now an idea hit me. "A hen is the first, not an egg", which means their appearance makes them beloved bisexually, not that being bisexual makes them look like it. Maybe not. I just wanna say they're good-looking for some people. I'm not a fan of them but I understand some peo...

I like Christmas day because it's much easier that Christmas Eve. I'm relaxed here at Starbucks and listening to these songs... ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎Fairytale Of New York/ The Pogues               https://youtu.be/j9jbdgZidu8 what beautiful melody ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎All I Want For Christmas Is You/ Mariah Carey               https://youtu.be/JKJExBXRorA This song makes me sing and dance even if I'm not her fan. ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎Peace On Earth/ Bing Crosby and David Bowie               https://youtu.be/DiXjbI3kRus I like watching old films ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎Last Christmas/ Wham!               https://youtu.be/E8gmARGvPlI This song is so easy to sing and feel Christmas. ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎雪に願いを/ Noriyuki Makihara                https://youtu.be/GuzxjLC47uE When I was young, I always listened to this in winter. ...

Since tonight's Christmas Eve and people seem to be happy, I would like to talk shite. I wrote " i wanna be a happy person" last time,  but I'm afraid tonight isn't the case...I wanna talk about the things I don't like. 10 things that I don't like are 1: the old men (especially if they're older than me) because they are nasty in spite of their age. When a man get older and older, he's loosing and getting something. If he doesn't realize how old he is and he's not balanced, he looks vulgar. And many Japanese old men tend to be like that from my viewpoint. Please keep your dignity. 2: the men or boys who think themselves cool because they are badly behaved most of the time...at a cafe or on a street, everywhere. Your girlfriend, wife or female co-workers may say you're nice, but don't think every woman thinks that way, please. 3: the women or girls who think themselves pretty because their phisical appearance isn't t...

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." ( Toh-nary-no she-baf wah owee ) This is a Japanese proverb which means that the things other people have look better than that you have.                                     ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ I've been jealous of other people for everything. I know everyone has good and bad but I always focus on being negative about someone else's happiness and I wish I would be there. At the same time, I know I can't be another person and I don't want to.                                     ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ I've been very negative since I was a teenager. Maybe the most often-used word by me is "but". I always start something negative like denying people or complaining of anything.                          ...

                    I was listening to " the philosophy of momus " today. And that's the first time in twenty years. I'm sure this is the album that I liked the best at that time. Every track sounded so unique to me and still do. Photo me at Mister Donut in Yokohama                     I just moved to Yokohama last month. I decided to do that intuitively but I'm satisfied with what I did because there's a song called " yokohama chinatown " in the album. I ilke the sound of an instrument heard from the beginning. I didn't understand the lyrics when I was young but now I can...kind of. I don't know how the chinatown was twenty years ago. But now it looks very clean. However, I know there's a red-light area near the chinatown. My boss told me that all of the brothel's owners were exposed only a few years ago. So I should say "there was". But I also kind of know there's a so-ca...

                    When I was a junior-high student, I was longing to live around Shibuya because I liked The flipper's guitar and Pizzicato Five. I used to read the magazines for teen-age girls, Zipper and Cutie ( I don't know if they still exist ). They had at least a piece of news about that kind of artists. I liked browsing their photos...especially the singer of Pizzicato Five, Maki Nomiya. Since she was much older than me and much skinnier than me, and her fashion preference was sometimes too eccentric to me, I couldn't wear like her. But there's one combination I really liked. That is on the sleeve of OVERDOSE. She's wearing a short-sleeve knit and a plaid short skirt. And I was usually wearing the clothes like that. I neither wore a wig nor made up my face though ( because I was a very diligent student ).                     ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎         ...

                    I found the old Momus CDs at RECOfan in Shibuya. I bought some of them because I finally couldn't find ones that I should have had in my parents' house. I'd love to talk about 20 Vodka Jellies because I'm sure that was, for me, among the 3 best of his works.                     ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎ I totally remember I was so jealous about that he wrote songs for a Japanese female singer. They made her album I AM A KITTEN ( Kahimi Karie sings Momus in Paris ) together. But I had to listen to it and contradictorily wanted to listen to it because I was his fan. That's why I was so happy to have this album of him after that because it had his versions of the songs he had written for her. I didn't need to listen to her anymore. I really liked all songs from this album. The first five songs and track 15 are really pop and stylish, surely becau...

                    Recently I've started listening to Momus after 20 years. Something suddenly urged me to search for the CDs of his early works which I should have kept in my room of my parents' house. And I found some of them but I couldn't find some. I remember nothing about what I did the lost ones.                     I'm sure that I'd never listened to Momus since I gave up following him twenty years ago. That's why, now, his early works sound like a time capsul to me. I didn't listen to his music so much at that time even if I was a fan of him. But I think his music was so galvanic to a young girl that after long time, still, she quickly got pulled into the atmosphere she had experienced before.                     It was the pre-Internet era and I didn't have that much money. It means that I barely knew that he comes from UK (...

        I don't like the people here.         I don't like the culture here.         I don't like the tradition here.         I don't like the custom here.         I don't like the history here.         I don't like the system here.         I don't like the places here.         I don't like the air here.         I don't like the weather here.         I don't like everything here.                     But I think that I like this world better than before because of you.                                 ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎                     Today I'm moving to another place in this world. For the firs...

                    There's nothing that we can change about other people. Everyone is different from each other. We don't know how or what they think or feel. Sometimes we don't understand even ourselves. We have no choice but to accept the way it is, who he or she is. We maybe can try to change their way of thinking if we want to. At least we can influence each other. For example, you think that someone is too negative and you want the person to be more positive for himself. And you try to persuade him to be so. But he may say he doesn't want to. Still I think you can affect him more or less. But it's better for us not to think we can change other people. The older I get, the more I feel that way.                     Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I think it's arrogant to try to change other people or even to want other people to change themselves. Instead of it, I'd rather try to exp...

                    I like travelling in Japan or overseas.  I'd rather take a train (including bullet train) or a aeroplane than drive a car. When I'm driving a car on an expressway, I'm too afraid of being crushed to enjoy a drive. I think there're lots of dangers in driving a car. For example, cars can be easily touched by each other on a road. And drivers are generally ordinary people. As for a train or an aeroplane, there's no other train or aeroplane around, so it can't be crushed by another. Only a low probablity of accidents makes me feel secure. I love when I'm going up toward the sky. I feel as if I am free from everything. And the only thing I can do is to trust my life to a pilot. I think it's definitely pure.           ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎                     I've been trying not to think that it's a special thing. But today suddenly I noticed...

                    I finished the last day at my work  last Friday. This is the third of my leaving job. And this time I'm also moving to the east.                                                               ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎                     I've been thinking about... what he is to me. I thought I would figure it out after a while but still not. I generally feel as if he was my elder male cousin ( I don't know why or he's not even similar to a real one though ). Sometimes he's like an elder lady who is an acquaintance and at other times he's just a man which is his actual figure, I think. Every time I see him, I feel kind of breathless. Although I want to tell him everything about me, I can't, almost all the time...

                    Apparently, I seem to like being in a complicated situation. I know that struggling urges my brain to work. And it definitely makes my heart beating, which means I can feel I'm still alive. Sometimes I get so tired of such thinking of mine. Because that also makes me unfit for the society where I was supposed to get along with my husband and have some children as my mom still thinks that is the best way for a woman to be happy.                     I never felt like that I lived my own life before. And I've been complaining and blaming the people around me. But I gradually come to realize nothing would happen or change if I keep doing that. I tried to figure out why I had been doing it and just noticed that was because I'd been feeling as if I hadn't decided anything by myself. That can't be true, though. I just wanted to pass the buck to someone. And I've made...

                I met you partly by accident, partly by design. I couldn't see you unless you'd decided to meet me. So I appreciate that I can still touch you. Maybe not any more though.                 I don't know why you look at me. You seem to have already got what you wanted and needed in your life. Maybe just from caprice. It's meaningless worrying about it because I never know it. I decided to be myself. 数えるのをやめた 痛みはすぐに甘さになって 頭がしびれてどうしようもなく 同じ景色を見たくて、ボタンをおした 気づいてほしくてボタンを 陽だまりにいるみたい。 I stopped counting. Pain turns into sweetness soon and it makes me electrically numb. I pushed the button to see what you see. Just wanted to be noticed. Like being in a sunny place. Somewhere in Berlin   

        I've been thinking about how I will live. I almost found an answer. But I'm still seesawing. I think I have some problems of myself. I got divorced, I have no children, and I'm neither young nor married. These things don't mean that I'm awkward but at least I think so by myself. I left Kobe for Berlin in September 2014. When I told that I was planning to go abroad for a while to my roommate, he didn't seem to accept it in the beginning. But at that time I was desperate to run away from something, and we talked to each other. And at last he said, 'I think I should respect what you think. If I say, ''don't go'', it must be strange because it's your life'. About 6 months later, I talked with him again. I was still in chaos. I don't remember the details we talked about but he said, 'there's nobody I need to live. Nevertheless if I want someone to be with me, it would be ideal for me and the person'. When ...

            Finally I got the new album of Momus, 'Scobberlotchers'. I felt afraid of listening to his recent music because I didn't know how I would feel about it. In other words, I was afraid of being fascinated by him again. And it's also because I don't like 'typically Japanese' things.  I mean I don't like the people who are too proud of themselves. Because there're so many people talking shite about their 'art'. I'm sorry for wandering from the point. He's not Japanese. Figure 1. The new album of Momus, 'Scobberlotchers' (peach-coloured) and his second album, 'The Poison Boyfriend'               Yes, I was scared. But now I'm ready to face him.  The title of first track is 'Heian'. Yeah, I said I am ready for it. I just remember that I had listened to this song before on his Tumblr. And I noticed he posted almost all of the songs of the new album on his youtube(Tumblr). I like the way of prom...

When I was in the second year of high school, I felt bittersweet at the end of summer holiday 1996. Twenty years ago around this time, I was so messed up... my ex-boyfriend that I first-kissed had already got a new one, my mother had too high hopes for me that I could be happy in her way, and I felt as if I were walking alone in the dark world. (me, 17 years old, the second from the right) I liked music. I often listened to Flipper's Guitar and Pizzicato Five at that time, but also listened to the music that was seen on the hit chart. I liked singing rather than listening to music. Singing in the bathroom has been making me so refreshed in my life. Having said that, there's the music I prefer listening to. That is Momus. I was listening to his music alone in my room. His words were too sexual and dark for an innocent girl of tender years, but at the same time, his voice was too delicate, comforting and sensuous. I didn't tell anyone that I liked his music (only my ...

Friday night, I'm sitting on the sofa writing this singing songs...I'm totally baked. Toe-Colo-day, I think I'm lucky that I'm not a native speaker of English. Because it's very interesting to learn foreign languages. I'm talking about developing process by interaction with other people, not English conversation schools or compulsory education in Japan (I don't mean disrespect for them though). Having said that, I don't have the courage to talk to English speaking people... In March(or April), 2014, I started instagram because I wanted to put a photo into my album of iPhone, which I found online...maybe I googled 'I-ma-so-ra' which means how the sky is now. I got interested in the photos a girl posted and followed her.  You know, I'm a donut crazy, so I decided to fill my page with donuts. Soon a man made some comments on my photos and sent me a message in English. I got so excited about this. So excited that I visited him in Berlin. Some...

　なんで、JR新大阪の東と西では明るさがこんなに違うんかな。新大阪駅西口を出て買い物をして、また駅ビルを通って、東口に出ると寂しいと思います。     西口もそんなに明るいとか綺麗というわけでもないけど、オフィス街だし、体育館などの施設もあるし、新旧たくさんのアパートやマンション、ホテルもあるからか、いつも人がたくさんいる気がします。     そんなわけで、JR新大阪駅の新幹線、在来線の喧騒を通り抜けて東口側に来てみると…人ごみの間を通ってきたから余計に寂しく感じます。そして、東口階段を降りたところにあるお手洗いからのにおいがひどい。なんか余計に寂しくなります。このあたりは、だいたい、埃っぽいし、あんまりちゃんも掃除してないんやろうなあ。東口にもホテルもそれなりにあるし、ツアリストも増えてると思うので、ぜひとももっと綺麗にしてほしいです。臭い匂いを隠すためなのか時々、アジアっぽいパヒュームのにおいがして、暑くて湿気のある日なんて混ざって余計ひどいにおいになっています。窓があるから開けたらいいのに。。     ただの文句になっていますが、私は新大阪が結構好きなので、もっときれいになったらいいなーと思ってるということです。東口側なんて、新幹線の高架があって、ヒップスタリッシュエリア次期候補に打ってつけだと思います！今なら、賃貸物件も豊富そうだし、安そうだし（推定）、私も何か始めたいくらいです。

  今の会社の食堂にはちょっと不満があります。というと、野菜が極端に少ないです。研究所なのに、工場の人向けみたい。かといって、ボリュームもいまいち。なのに、500円越えです。神戸製鋼の技術開発本部（神戸市西区）にいたときは、結構みんな文句言ってたけど、私は好きだったなー。野菜は十分て程ではなかったけど、今と比べたらかなり考えられてたんやなーと思います。500円未満で。場所とか、規模とかにもよるんだろうけど。   ただ、文句ばっかり言っているのでは、最近はやりのただのヘイターになってしまうので、ポジティブシンキングにできるところはしようとここ数日思ってます。ネットで読んだ、「幸せを感じるくせを付ける」というのをやってみようと思い立って。テトリスって、慣れたら、深く考えなくても脳の一部を使って処理できるようになるらしいことを、幸せを感じるという機能に対して使いましょうということでした。そのために毎日寝る前とかに今日はこんないいことあったなーとか考える習慣をつけるってことです。   私は今日は、夜の食後に食べたヨーグルトがとてもおいしかったので、もっと食べたいなーと思って、それでふと思いつきました。たまに会社の食堂を使うのをやめて、ヨーグルトを買って思い切り食べるのも良いんじゃないかと。グラノーラを入れたり、サラダにしたり、と考え始めるといろいろ案が出てきて楽しくなってきました。ブームが来てなんとなく買ったもののただのグラスと化しているメイソンジャーを使う機会が巡ってきました！   そんなこと考えてたら、楽しくて、また明日もがんばろう。おやすみなさい。 I'm planning to bring m mason jar lunch to work! I was thinking about what I put into my jar...that was really fun. Have a good sleep!