I've been thinking about how I will live. I almost found an answer. But I'm still seesawing. I think I have some problems of myself. I got divorced, I have no children, and I'm neither young nor married. These things don't mean that I'm awkward but at least I think so by myself.
I left Kobe for Berlin in September 2014. When I told that I was planning to go abroad for a while to my roommate, he didn't seem to accept it in the beginning. But at that time I was desperate to run away from something, and we talked to each other. And at last he said, 'I think I should respect what you think. If I say, ''don't go'', it must be strange because it's your life'.
About 6 months later, I talked with him again. I was still in chaos. I don't remember the details we talked about but he said, 'there's nobody I need to live. Nevertheless if I want someone to be with me, it would be ideal for me and the person'.
When I was younger, I was so desperate to feel needed. And I'm still kinda the same but I totally agree with him. Because I came to know the reason why I had to leave my exes. I wanted to be needed strongly. But that was precisely a mistake. The first goal to be with someone should not be something which is dependent on someone too much. I was trying to be the only one for someone in a wrong way. To be outspoken, it's like a fantasy. Maybe it sounds like a contradiction, but I left them because I couldn't feel needed enough.
Three months ago I've listened to ''I Want You, But I Don't Need You'' by Momus for the first time. I felt as if I was blamed for the wrongs I had done my exes and I tried not to listen to it. But now I feel as if he's singing a very very strong emotion toward someone. The lyrics of ''I Want You, But I Don't Need You'' by Momus
So now I definitely want to want someone so strongly.
By the way, I feel so old-fashioned as a fan of Momus because my favorite songs of him aren't listed here.... The 25 Most Popular Momus Songs
#Momus #モーマス
I left Kobe for Berlin in September 2014. When I told that I was planning to go abroad for a while to my roommate, he didn't seem to accept it in the beginning. But at that time I was desperate to run away from something, and we talked to each other. And at last he said, 'I think I should respect what you think. If I say, ''don't go'', it must be strange because it's your life'.
About 6 months later, I talked with him again. I was still in chaos. I don't remember the details we talked about but he said, 'there's nobody I need to live. Nevertheless if I want someone to be with me, it would be ideal for me and the person'.
When I was younger, I was so desperate to feel needed. And I'm still kinda the same but I totally agree with him. Because I came to know the reason why I had to leave my exes. I wanted to be needed strongly. But that was precisely a mistake. The first goal to be with someone should not be something which is dependent on someone too much. I was trying to be the only one for someone in a wrong way. To be outspoken, it's like a fantasy. Maybe it sounds like a contradiction, but I left them because I couldn't feel needed enough.
Three months ago I've listened to ''I Want You, But I Don't Need You'' by Momus for the first time. I felt as if I was blamed for the wrongs I had done my exes and I tried not to listen to it. But now I feel as if he's singing a very very strong emotion toward someone. The lyrics of ''I Want You, But I Don't Need You'' by Momus
So now I definitely want to want someone so strongly.
By the way, I feel so old-fashioned as a fan of Momus because my favorite songs of him aren't listed here.... The 25 Most Popular Momus Songs
Figure1. Fernsehturm de Berlin
Figure2. Gen kun and me
#Momus #モーマス
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